Beyond Categorization, Contests, Meaningless Drivel

7 Excuses for Not Writing

seven-box1It’s still Sunday in my world. What day is it where you are? And what’s the future like? Do we all have jetpacks yet?

While I continue to be consumed by my editing work, I thought I’d give you seven excuses for not writing. Because, as we all know, these excuses play a key role in our efforts to cut our dreams off at the feet. Without them, we’d be writing all the time and getting better at it and paving the way for a successful future as published authors.

And we wouldn’t want that, now, would we?

You might want to bookmark this page so it’s readily available should the urge to write come on suddenly.

  1. I can only write when I have at least four hours of uninterrupted time. I only have three hours and forty-two minutes so I’ll just Twitter instead.
  2. The kids need to be fed. Okay, not right now, but eventually… and that takes a lot of forethought. I mean, do you even have kids? So what would you know about it anyway!?
  3. My laptop keyboard is too sprongy. I can’t write on a sprongy keyboard. I need a new laptop before I can write another word.
  4. I don’t have any ideas left. A Franciscan monk/ninja snuck into my bedroom last night and stole them from me because he’s tired of the monastic/ninja lifestyle and wants to be a famous (though still somewhat reclusive) author whose novels are so well-loved he gets invited to appear on Letterman where he’s asked to read a couple pages (just like David Sedaris does with his creative non-fiction) and before his segment – while he’s still in the green room – he meets Juliette Binoche and they hit it off and eventually run away to live in Sweden where they form a death metal band that becomes (in)famous for writing and performing terribly long and boring songs based on his bestselling books. Okay, fine. I guess he didn’t take every idea. I suppose I could write a novel about a monk/ninja/novelist… damn. Now I only have three hours of uninterrupted time.
  5. My muse left me for another writer.
  6. Tivo.
  7. Someone just published a book using the title I wanted for my novel. Now I feel empty inside.

See you soon. If the apocalypse doesn’t come first. Ooh… wait, that reminds me. Bonus excuse #8: I can’t write because the apocalypse could come any time and so what’s the point, really?

Peace. And enter the contest already, wouldya?

8 thoughts on “7 Excuses for Not Writing

  1. Number 9, number nine, number nine . . . (hate that Beatles tune).
    9. No agent/editor/publisher will get me anyway, so why should I sweat over these stories that speak to so many things in this world only to be rejected. Again.

    1. Yes. Good excuse. Why write if we’re just gonna be rejected? If we want to feel what it’s like to be rejected, we’ll just go to those American Idol tryouts.

  2. To expand upon #2… It’s not just feeding the kids, it’s trying not to ignore them. I get in a zone when I write, so I can’t do it unless my son is asleep. And when he is, I have other fun things to do, like laundry & dishes. That’s my excuse & I’m sticking to it. I also have that problem when I’m on the internet. (Hey, what’s going on in there. Oops.) 🙂

    1. I forgot to add…”I don’t have time to write because I’m too busy writing comments on blogs about why I don’t have time to write.” That’s a good one, too.

      Laundry? Dishes? You actually do those? Don’t all writers have housekeepers?

    1. I think there’s a whole order of Franciscan monk/ninjas. Their motto is, “Preach the gospel at all times. Whenever necessary, use nunchucks.”

  3. *wince* Couldn’t that monk/ninja have “sneaked” instead of “snuck?” Is “snuck” actually acceptable English now?

    1. I feel your pain. It was up to the monk/ninja, so I let him “snuck.” I’m pretty sure he’s out to destroy our English language because I also heard him say “If I was you…” in a threatening way. And by “threatening way” I mean, he was questioning the very existence of the subjunctive.

Comments are closed.