If you’re reading this it’s either because you’re curious to know how I can help you with your novel, or you have way too much time on your hands and like clicking buttons. If you’re here because of the novel thing, keep reading. (If you like clicking buttons, feel free to click away. Then consider getting a job as an elevator operator. Seriously, it’s all about the buttons. Just imagine the job satisfaction. Plus, you get to wear a cute uniform. Ask for one with brass buttons. You know why.)
I am offering two* editorial services for aspiring (and perspiring) novelists. I don’t have a complex fee schedule and you won’t find any sprawling spreadsheets illustrating all the different ways you can give me your money.
The first service is something I call the Editorial Review. (I know, it’s not very original. If you want, you can call it the Green Pen of Helpfulness. This will make sense in a moment. Probably.) This is the sort of thing I do for publishing houses that are interested in a project and yet aren’t convinced it’s right for them or that it’s “ready for prime time.” I’ll read your manuscript cover to cover, then offer my evaluation of your novel in a 6 to 10 page document, noting areas in need of improvement and your strengths. I’ll point out editorial issues that might be keeping you from landing an agent or catching an editor’s eye. I’ll tell you what I think about your plot, the believability of your characters, and the quality of your writing. An Editorial Review often is just enough information to point you toward revisions that can dramatically increase the chance for publishing success.
The second service, The Red Pen of Life and Death (told you), is a more in-depth analysis of your novel. This service is designed for those of you who are getting good feedback on your novel (it’s your fifth draft, right?) but still no offer of representation. It’s also a great service for those of you who are already contracted for a novel and have completed it, but it’s just not working for you (or the publisher). Worried about the sophomore slump? Let’s talk. What you’ll be getting with The Red Pen of Life and Death is exactly what I give authors when a publishing house assigns me as their editor. This is where the typeface hits the page (yeah, lame, but better than “rubber meets the road”). I’ll read your manuscript cover to cover and provide specific editorial suggestions throughout (using the Comment and Track Changes features in Microsoft Word, when possible). I’ll also include editing examples for many of these suggestions. And, I’ll even spend up to an hour on the phone with you to talk in general about the book as well as answer any lingering questions you might have about my notes. Sometimes it’s the little things that make the difference between an interesting, well-written novel and a compelling, must-publish-this-now novel. I’m reasonably skilled at uncovering those little things.
A few notes:
- The Red Pen of Life and Death is not a line edit. I won’t be dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s or correcting every grammatical error. As your noveldoctor, I will focus on identifying the bigger issues that need work, then offer a customized prescription to help cure those problems. Oh, you’ll still get plenty of little editing marks (have antacid handy when opening the file) – and I’ll dot some of those i’s and cross some of those t’s as I see them, but this is a macro-edit (or “developmental edit”), not micro-edit.
- I‘m a kind-hearted editor, but I’m not going to sugar-coat the truth (as I see it). If I think your novel is “beyond saving,” I’ll say so. I’ll do my best to offer direction, but I’m not going to give you false hope if I don’t think your novel has much of a chance finding success in the traditional publishing process. I don’t like this part of my job. But thankfully, I’m only one voice in a choir of editors and book doctors. Perhaps someone else will see something I missed. I hope so. I promise I’ll unabashedly cheer for you when your debut novel eclipses J.K. Rowlings’ aggregate sales numbers. I want you to succeed.
- And here’s my little disclaimer: I can’t guarantee you’ll sign with an agent or get published if you take heed of my editorial suggestions. (Anyone who promises this is lying, drunk, or has photos of a publisher in compromising positions.) But I sure hope you come away from the process feeling like you’ve learned something of value – something that makes you a better writer.
- IMPORTANT UPDATE 03/31/13: I am completely booked through Oct., 2013. If you don’t mind waiting until November to enjoy The Joy of Being Edited by Moi, please email me and I’ll add you to the queue. November may seem like a long way off, but I’m pretty sure time is speeding up, so it will be here before you know it. Kind of like how deadlines for book reports always appeared out of nowhere back in junior high. (This is when I learned how to speed read. And when my handwriting suddenly got very big and stretchy. And when I learned how to use as many words as possible to say as little as possible. I’ve had to reverse that last one.) Also…I’m taking December off. Yes, really. So if I can’t get to your book in November, we’re talking 2014. Yup.
So you want to know how much this is going to cost you? (Did you scroll down here before reading the longwinded intro above? Yeah. I would have, too.) Well, assuming your manuscript falls between 50K and 100K words (use that Word Count feature in your word processor), these are the fees:
Editorial Review: $600
The Red Pen of Life and Death: $1500
And if your manuscript is outside of that word-count range? We’d better chat.
That’s it. Simple, really. I ask for half of the fee up front (to secure the spot in the queue and hold us both to the deadline fire) and the rest upon delivery of the editorial note and/or marked-up manuscript. You can use PayPal or send me one of those old paper things they call checks. I’d even consider bacon, but only if it’s really good bacon and I have space in my refrigerator. If you’re interested in considering either service, email me. We’ll figure out the details.
*Yes, I said “two” services, but I’m also available (schedule permitting) to be your developmental and/or line editor. I tend to reserve this service for previously-published or nearly-published authors, but I’ll consider first-time novelists, too, if you are sure that’s exactly what you want. How much does this cost? I don’t know. We’ll work that out together in a friendly negotiation. I’m pretty sure it will be a bargain. I don’t have a huge mortgage to pay off and I don’t care to be rich. I just want to do what I love and pay the bills and occasionally have enough money left over to eat out at a nice restaurant. Oh, and to buy books. I need money for books. That’s all, though. Um, except maybe a little to set aside for bacon. And cookies. And coffee. And a trip to Tuscany someday. But that should just about do it.