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910 Words About Word Count
Okay, let’s do the math. (Approximate word counts noted.) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, J.K. Rowling – 257,000 words. The Stand, Stephen King – 464,000 words. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy – 560,000 words. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway – 68,000 words. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury – 46,000 words. The Color Purple, Alice Walker – 67,000 words. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte – 108,000 words. Your Novel, Your Name – ??? If you’ve finished a novel, you know how much ink, sweat and tears goes into the process of putting all those words to paper. So just how many words do you have in that book, anyway?…
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On the Subject of Subjectivity
Deep breath… The Da Vinci Code is the best novel ever written. You know it’s based on a true story, right? The Left Behind books are more well-written than anything by Fitzgerald or Hemingway or any of those boring Russian authors. The Road. It changed the way I view dialogue said the man. And punctuation. His life was a series of fragmented sentences. And so was the book. The Road is not just Cormac’s tarmac. It is brilliance said the man. The boy turned his head and coughed. Don’t you dare question the infinite incredibleness of The Lord of the Rings trilogy or a horde of orcs will pour out…
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Stuff I Made Up Last Minute
One: In Which I Make a Single Point About Dialogue But Don’t Actually Tell You What the Point Is Because It’s So Obvious Even a Non-Writer Could Figure It Out “So it’s Friday and that means I can talk about whatever I want,” said Stephen. “You can talk about whatever you want any day,” interrupted Stephen’s alter-ego, Pedro. “I know that,” interjected Stephen, “but Friday is my day to be especially random.” “Pedro?” queried Pedro. “You named me Pedro? What’s wrong with you?” “Nothing’s wrong with me,” countered Stephen. “Pedro is a fine name. What concerns me is this horribly stilted dialogue.” “Tell me about it,” grumbled Pedro. “Not only…
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Back Tomorrow…
Yes. There will be a new post on Friday. Expect it to be only slightly brilliant. The project that has been stealing my time has also been stealing brain cells, so I don’t know what will spark when I finally rub two meaningful synapses together. You have been using your time wisely, though, haven’t you? I mean, that novel is at least 2000 pages longer now, yes? Good. See you tomorrow. Or really late tonight if you consider “after midnight” tonight instead of tomorrow. Back to the brainsuck…
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The Doctor Is Out…
…but I hope to be back soon. Sorry for the silence. Lots of entertaining posts in the queue, I promise. Until then, go write a book.
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More Friday Miscellany
Welcome to another weekend edition of Noveldoctor.com. Today? Five random things. Item the First – Tomorrow evening, the Christy Award ceremonies will be held in Denver. The Christy Awards are given to celebrate and promote the best of Christian fiction. A novel I edited, Safe at Home, by Richard Doster, is one of three nominees for best “First Novel.” I won’t be at the ceremony (I don’t have anything to wear and I sincerely mean that because I work out of my home and in my home I don’t maintain a dress code apart from “wear something when you go to Starbucks”), and so I won’t be able to practice…
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10 Reasons Writing Fiction Is the Best. Thing. Ever.
You can explain away talking to yourself as “trying out a conversation between characters in my novel.” Your much-used acronym for “work in progress” is alarmingly similar to the acronym for “rest in peace” and this adds an air of clever mystery to your role when casually mentioning it among non-writers. (Plus, you only have to change one letter to appropriately re-categorize any book that’s going nowhere.) You can overindulge in any of the three “C”s with impunity: Coffee, Chocolate, Cocktails. You can do your job almost anywhere. While still stuck in bed, or at your desk in a chair. You can write in a car, you can write in…