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Time Travel & Teleportation Aren’t Just for Science Fiction
The written word defies the laws of physics. Right now, as you read this, the author of these words could be parasailing in Grand Cayman, or tied to a chair in the belly of an abandoned oil tanker while being pistol-whipped by thugs (a case of mistaken identity, surely), or (gasp) even dead. Okay, that last one’s a bit morbid, but the only thing you can be relatively certain of is that on Sunday, when I wrote this, I was none of the above. But do you see what’s going on here? I’m talking to you from the past. Yup. We’re time traveling. I don’t know what “voice” you imagine…
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The “First and Last” Writing Contest
Okay, it’s really quite simple. Below are three “First” sentences and three “Last” sentences. All you have to do is write a short story or scene that begins with any one of the first sentences and ends with any one of the last sentences. Please, keep your entries under 400 words. Mystery. Romance. Science Fiction. Angsty or humorous. Write whatever you want. You have until midnight next Friday, July 31, to submit your entry. Depending on the number of entries, it will take me at least a week to sort through and determine the winners. Yes, you read that right “winnerS.” There will be three, chosen by me based on…
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When Details Become Distraction
Version One. Benny’s cherry red Converse sneakers squeaked their delight on the Asian Mahogany Pergo laminate floor while his mother stirred the Nestle Semi-Sweet morsels into the cookie dough using the wood-handled Le Creuset spatula with the blue non-stick silicone surface that never failed her. “Now?” asked Benny, his brown eyes barely visible beneath the blue, red and white of the too-big Chicago Cubs baseball cap. “Not yet,” she answered, and she stirred some more, thankful for her Paderno copper mixing bowl and her Okite Creama Botticino countertop and a pair of neon orange Crocs that might elicit snide comments from women who wear Giuseppe Zanottis and pretend not to…
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Free Characters for Your Novel!
Is your plot dragging? Is your protagonist starting to annoy you with long, boring speeches that add nothing to the story? Are you contemplating plagiarism to fix the problem of a go-nowhere middle third of your novel? Well, put down that copy of The Pillars of the Earth (did you really think Follett wouldn’t notice you “borrowed” a few words?) and pay close attention to this post. I have the perfect solution for all your novel-writing problems: the introduction of a Brand New Character. That’s right, with addition of a BNC you can kick a dragging plot into overdrive or kick a protagonist in the asterisk so he or she stops…
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910 Words About Word Count
Okay, let’s do the math. (Approximate word counts noted.) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, J.K. Rowling – 257,000 words. The Stand, Stephen King – 464,000 words. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy – 560,000 words. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway – 68,000 words. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury – 46,000 words. The Color Purple, Alice Walker – 67,000 words. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte – 108,000 words. Your Novel, Your Name – ??? If you’ve finished a novel, you know how much ink, sweat and tears goes into the process of putting all those words to paper. So just how many words do you have in that book, anyway?…
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Stuff I Made Up Last Minute
One: In Which I Make a Single Point About Dialogue But Don’t Actually Tell You What the Point Is Because It’s So Obvious Even a Non-Writer Could Figure It Out “So it’s Friday and that means I can talk about whatever I want,” said Stephen. “You can talk about whatever you want any day,” interrupted Stephen’s alter-ego, Pedro. “I know that,” interjected Stephen, “but Friday is my day to be especially random.” “Pedro?” queried Pedro. “You named me Pedro? What’s wrong with you?” “Nothing’s wrong with me,” countered Stephen. “Pedro is a fine name. What concerns me is this horribly stilted dialogue.” “Tell me about it,” grumbled Pedro. “Not only…
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10 Reasons Writing Fiction Is the Best. Thing. Ever.
You can explain away talking to yourself as “trying out a conversation between characters in my novel.” Your much-used acronym for “work in progress” is alarmingly similar to the acronym for “rest in peace” and this adds an air of clever mystery to your role when casually mentioning it among non-writers. (Plus, you only have to change one letter to appropriately re-categorize any book that’s going nowhere.) You can overindulge in any of the three “C”s with impunity: Coffee, Chocolate, Cocktails. You can do your job almost anywhere. While still stuck in bed, or at your desk in a chair. You can write in a car, you can write in…